Alan Heide
2/5/2024
The concept of feeling like “A Very Special Worm” beautifully captures the emotional turmoil addressed by Al-Anon principles, specifically when an individual ping-pongs between feelings of worthlessness and grandiosity (being “better than other people”). This shifting self-perception is a hallmark of the family disease of alcoholism/addiction, reflecting a loss of healthy self-esteem and a deep-seated need for control and validation. In one moment, the person feels crushed and inferior—the lowly “worm”—believing they are entirely responsible for problems or deeply flawed. In the next, the “special” aspect kicks in, manifesting as self-righteousness, superiority, or martyrdom, where they feel better than others due to their struggles, efforts, or suffering, often driven by the need to manage or fix the alcoholic’s life. Al-Anon suggests that recovery lies in finding a balanced sense of self-worth rooted in reality and spiritual principles, recognizing that while one is special as a human being, they are not unique in their troubles and are neither superior nor inferior to anyone else.
Website: alanheide.com
